Question 1 I care for myself responsibly, knowing if I do not, I will have little or nothing to give to the people in my life whom I care the most about.
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91% to 100% mastery Question 2 Outside of meeting my essential needs for self-care, my relationship with my partner is my number one priority.
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91% to 100% mastery Question 3 I have fashioned my role in this stepfamily to suit my individual relationships and comfort level, rather than to reflect prescribed roles and unrealistic expectations-including my own.
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91% to 100% mastery Question 4 I am a full participant in all decisions that stand to impact my relationship with my partner and my stepfamily. My partner and I work as a team.
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91% to 100% mastery Question 5 I do not accept responsibility for the welfare of children over whom I can set no limits.
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91% to 100% mastery Question 6 My stepchildren and I are quite "OK" with the relationships we have with one another.
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91% to 100% mastery Question 7 I do not feel that my every waking moment should be devoted to the children.
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91% to 100% mastery Question 8 I genuinely listen to understand, and strive to communicate clearly, truthfully and respectfully.
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91% to 100% mastery Question 9 I treat each member of my stepfamily with kindness, courtesy and respect-and require the same in return.
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91% to 100% mastery Question 10 I am respectful of the fact that most members of a stepfamily have grief to heal.
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91% to 100% mastery Question 11 I do not allow people outside of my immediate family to impose plans that affect my life without my consent.
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91% to 100% mastery Question 12 I set and honor realistic limits and boundaries, and choose my battles wisely.
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91% to 100% mastery Question 13 I will not accept being treated as an "outsider" in my own home.
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91% to 100% mastery Question 14 I do not assume sole responsibility for this stepfamily's success or happiness.
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91% to 100% mastery Question 15 I do not assume sole responsibility for the housework.
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91% to 100% mastery Question 16 I require that others respect my private space and personal possessions.
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91% to 100% mastery Question 17 I do not see myself, nor anyone else, as "the problem with this stepfamily".
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91% to 100% mastery Question 18 I excuse myself from being "caught in the middle" of conflicts between my stepchildren and their parents.
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91% to 100% mastery Question 19 I refuse to say anything derogatory about any child's natural parent.
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91% to 100% mastery Question 20 Rather than clamoring for an instant family, instant love, and instant acceptance, I am able to go slowly enough to allow everyone time to find his/her unique place within this stepfamily.
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91% to 100% mastery Question 21 I am reassured in times of difficulty knowing that confronting and resolving difficulties helps to create the ties that bind the stepfamily together.
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91% to 100% mastery Question 22 I'm strong enough and wise enough to seek out the guidance and support I need; and to use it.
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91% to 100% mastery Question 23 I am confident enough in my relationship and role, and knowledgeable enough about stepfamily life that I do not "take things personally".
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91% to 100% mastery Question 24 I have forgiven myself for all of the negative thoughts, feelings, words, and actions I held or expressed about myself, my partner, the kids and prior spouses.
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91% to 100% mastery Question 25 I'm able to give myself credit for my efforts, for learning from my mistakes, and for the successes I have already achieved.
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91% to 100% mastery Question 26 I allow myself to "relax" and "lighten up".
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Female Norms
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