The Garage: Dos and Don'ts
Need a few ideas for things you can do that will improve your relationship?
Check the lists below for ideas. The women who supplied them assured us that if their partner were to do the things they listed, it would significantly improve their relationship.
1. Make one or two nights (a week) completely free for just the two of us.
2. Support me when I discipline or make the decisions when it comes to the kids.
3. Thank me, or even just notice, when I do household duties.
4. Don't talk to your Ex as much--or only if pertaining to the kids--not conversations about our family or extended family.
5. Let your Ex know ahead of time when we have plans to go away or just go out--and not to feel guilty or afraid or like you have to compensate for our plans in some way.
1. Don't get frustrated so quickly when you try to explain something to me and I don't quite get it or I try to explain it back to you in my own words.
2. Continue helping me out in the house with the chores and getting things fixed.
3. Don't always expect me to step in and fix things with the kids, work, etc.
4. Continue tickling my back and cuddling me.
5. I like that you thank me when I do things for you.
6. Continue taking me out for a date on Fridays. I really look forward to it.
1. Be reliable and dependable - keep your word when you say you are going to do something.
2. Listen to me and what I have to say, instead of assuming. Paraphrase what I have said to get a better understanding. I want you to get to know me as a person.
3. Take me out to the movies, take a dance class with me, and go for walks with me. Let's do things together--things that are fun.
4. Stop thinking in extremes about everything, and summing me up in these extreme statements with such awfully hurtful words.
5. Stop punishing me and threatening to give me consequences.
10 More Dos and Don'ts
1. Don't be fiddling with things or watching the TV when having a conversation with her. She needs to see that you are truly interested in her, and truly trying to understand her. Do use active listening.
2. Do little things for her without waiting for her to ask you to do them.
3. Do ask her out on a date. Tell her you've taken care of the plans for the date and the sitter.
4. Do tell her that you feel it's important to spend time together as a couple--and then show her that you mean it.
5. Don't roll your eyes when you are talking to her. Doing so may damage your relationship.
6. Do touch her at least a half dozen times each day.
7. Do hold hands when you walk.
8. Each day, do ask her how she's doing, and give her a hug.
9. Do show your concern if she's not feeling well. Ask: "Is there something I could do that would help you to feel better--maybe get you something to drink? Make you something to eat? Give you some time for a nap?"
10. Do allow her to be upset or angry if that's the way she's feeling. Do say: "I can see that you are feeling...." Don't say: "You shouldn't feel that way."
If you are a female visiting the Garage who would like to add a few of your own Dos and Don'ts to this collection, list them here. We will publish them with our next update.
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