Stepparent Self Assessment - Male Norms


Introduction

Use this survey to see how well you are progressing in eight areas as a stepparent. 

If you are a female, click here to take Stepparent Self Assessment - Female Norms.

Instructions

  • There is a total of 26 questions. 
  • Every question requires an answer. 
  • Choose the answer that most accurately shows how well you believe you are doing in the area under consideration. For example, select 0% to 10% if you feel you have little or no mastery over the area in question--and higher scores to show increasing mastery over the area in question.

Question  1
I care for myself responsibly, knowing if I do not, I will have little or nothing to give to the people in my life whom I care the most about.

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Question  2
Outside of meeting my essential needs for self-care, my relationship with my partner is my number one priority.

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Question  3
I have fashioned my role in this stepfamily to suit my individual relationships and comfort level, rather than to reflect prescribed roles and unrealistic expectations-including my own.

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Question  4
I am a full participant in all decisions that stand to impact my relationship with my partner and my stepfamily. My partner and I work as a team.

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Question  5
I do not accept responsibility for the welfare of children over whom I can set no limits.

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Question  6
My stepchildren and I are quite "OK" with the relationships we have with one another.

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Question  7
I do not feel that my every waking moment should be devoted to the children.

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Question  8
I genuinely listen to understand, and strive to communicate clearly, truthfully and respectfully.

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Question  9
I treat each member of my stepfamily with kindness, courtesy and respect-and require the same in return.

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Question  10
I am respectful of the fact that most members of a stepfamily have grief to heal.

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Question  11
I do not allow people outside of my immediate family to impose plans that affect my life without my consent.

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Question  12
I set and honor realistic limits and boundaries, and choose my battles wisely.

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Question  13
I will not accept being treated as an "outsider" in my own home.

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Question  14
I do not assume sole responsibility for this stepfamily's success or happiness.

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Question  15
I do not assume sole responsibility for the housework.

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Question  16
I require that others respect my private space and personal possessions.

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Question  17
I do not see myself, nor anyone else, as "the problem with this stepfamily".

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Question  18
I excuse myself from being "caught in the middle" of conflicts between my stepchildren and their parents.

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Question  19
I refuse to say anything derogatory about any child's natural parent.

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Question  20
Rather than clamoring for an instant family, instant love, and instant acceptance, I am able to go slowly enough to allow everyone time to find his/her unique place within this stepfamily.

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Question  21
I am reassured in times of difficulty knowing that confronting and resolving difficulties helps to create the ties that bind the stepfamily together.

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Question  22
I'm strong enough and wise enough to seek out the guidance and support I need; and to use it.

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Question  23
I am confident enough in my relationship and role, and knowledgeable enough about stepfamily life that I do not "take things personally".

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Question  24
I have forgiven myself for all of the negative thoughts, feelings, words, and actions I held or expressed about myself, my partner, the kids and prior spouses.

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Question  25
I'm able to give myself credit for my efforts, for learning from my mistakes, and for the successes I have already achieved.

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Question  26
I allow myself to "relax" and "lighten up".

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All questions require an answer.

Click the FINISHED button when all questions have been correctly answered.

Your report will appear in a few seconds.


 

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The Stepfamily Foundation of Alberta

www.stepfamily.ca

 

 

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